Agreements shape how we navigate the world—on the road, at work, and in our relationships. Without them, things can quickly fall apart. Whether we’re committing to a deadline or driving on the correct side of the street, clear agreements keep things running smoothly.

On the roadway, agreements among drivers make travel safe and efficient. In countries like England, Japan, and Ireland, people drive on the left side of the road. In other countries like the United States and Canada, they drive on the right side. These social agreements aren’t optional. Failing to understand or keep them can lead to tragic accidents!

In the workplace, unclear or broken agreements lead to frustration and failure.

Short Story: Agreements Gone Wrong

It’s Monday at 4 p.m. The five-person marketing team just wrapped up a meeting to set priorities for the next quarter. They agreed on five key focus areas and assigned action items to each team member. The meeting ended on a positive note.

By Friday morning, no one on the team was happy.

TM 1 was frustrated because TM 3 had missed a Thursday deadline. TM 2 assumed TM 4 would send meeting notes, so they hadn’t completed their task. TM 5 had finished their work and was looking forward to the follow-up meeting—until TM 1 suggested canceling it because “people aren’t completing their action items.” TM 5 quickly fired back: “Not true. I completed mine!”

Follow-up to the meeting had unraveled. Sound familiar?

Why Clear Agreements Are So Important

Well-defined agreements help people understand exactly what is expected of them. This is important because clear agreements feed our brains nutritious information – clear and specific, pointing to a completed task.

Clear agreements help reduce anxiety, improve focus, and build accountability. Most people want to be held accountable and work with others who share that value.

Some leaders—dictators and mob bosses included—intentionally avoid clear agreements so they can’t be held responsible. When things go wrong, they shift blame instead of owning their decisions. You may know leaders like that. Work with them at your own risk.

For the rest of us, well-articulated agreements help us collaborate happily and effectively.

A Disciplined Approach for Building Agreements

Taking a structured approach to agreements helps teams manage projects efficiently, stay aligned, and work together with clarity and trust.

The agreement-building process has four main steps. As you read through them, ask yourself: Does my team tend to skip one of these?

1. Make a Proposal
Every agreement starts with a proposal. In meetings, proposals generally fall into two categories:

• Content Proposals focus on what should happen (e.g., product marketing strategies, hiring decisions, project timelines).
• Process Proposals focus on how the group will work together (e.g., how feedback will be given and how a decision will be made).

2. Check for Understanding
It’s easy to assume everyone is on the same page—but are they? A simple head nod or silence doesn’t imply accurate understanding.

Instead of asking, “Does everyone understand?” (which usually leads to awkward silence), try:

• “What, if anything, is unclear about this proposal?”
• “What questions do you have?”
• “Take a moment to check in with yourself: Do I fully understand this? If not, what questions come to mind?”

• “Is there anyone who can’t live with what’s been proposed?”
• “Who, if anyone, has concerns about this?”

This technique helps surface objections before they become roadblocks.

4. Document the Agreement

If the agreement is not written down, it can be easy to forget or misinterpret. Keeping a clear, accessible record ensures everyone has a shared reference point.

Which step does your team tend to overlook?

Recovering from a Broken Agreement

When agreements are unclear or unspoken, accountability falls apart. When a team member breaks an agreement—due to miscommunication, competing priorities, or simple oversight— teammates may hesitate before committing to taking action in the future, unsure if agreements will be upheld

If you’re the one who didn’t follow through, it’s not the end of the world. Here’s how to repair trust:

1. Acknowledge it. Own the fact that you didn’t meet the agreement.
2. Explain without making excuses. Share what happened without deflecting blame.
3. Rebuild with a new agreement. Work with your team to reset expectations.
4. Ask for support. No one succeeds alone. Sometimes, a little help from a teammate makes all the difference.

Interaction Associates’ Essential Facilitation™ program provides practical tools to help team members communicate expectations, build alignment, and create accountability. Learn to guide discussions that lead to authentic commitments rather than just nodding heads. Learn more about Essential Facilitation™.